Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
