hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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