If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
