its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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