Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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