did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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