We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
