Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
