Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
