In the future we'll all be gay
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
