im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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