You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
