Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
