Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Everclear isn't food dammit
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
