Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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