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i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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