it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
