i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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