he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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