is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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