Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
