I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
