haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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