and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
