every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I still have a little drunk in my system
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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