On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
