so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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