saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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