is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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