i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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