I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
