I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My hand turned me down
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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