your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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