there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
