Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
