its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
