O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
