$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
