Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
