The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
