I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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