I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
