You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
