it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
