No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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