So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
is that a dick in a sweater?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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