Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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