Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
