doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
