I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
