I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
