I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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